For me, kink and sex are like ice cream and coffee

Ok, let me explain.

I need to go back to the first time I visited a BDSM club.

I was standing, with my jaw tense, in a tight black dress with open side panels and clumpy patent leather boots. Grasping a drink tightly, in slightly sweaty hands.

It was my first time in a BDSM club, and I had had my eyes opened WIDE already in the first ten minutes …watching people arrive in the most eye-popping outfits, from baby-clothes to gimp masks. I was excited, and full of anticipation.

Continue reading “For me, kink and sex are like ice cream and coffee”

Ah, there it is. My kinky side.

January has been a good month with lots to appreciate… except for, there’s been very little sex and no kink! February started with me changing that story. Here’s how that happened.

January saw me going on several beautiful walks in the countryside with good friends; some really lovely dates and evenings in with my partner; a nice session with my other partner at his place.

The first few weeks of my new job feel like they went …OK? I think. I concentrated really hard on taking it slowly and consciously and not allowing myself to run off in all directions or cave to outside pressure to DO STUFF before planning it. I think that paid off, as I now feel pretty calm and in control of what’s quite a difficult programme of work. Continue reading “Ah, there it is. My kinky side.”

My submissive identity (Part 2: My path into submission)

What kind of a submissive am I?

No two submissives are alike. Every sub needs to define her own path.

As I wrote in part 1 ‘My path into being a submissive’, it took me quite a while to learn enough about the world of kink to begin defining my own BDSM role. I┬ástill feel I have a lot to learn. I’ve been on this journey only a few years.

And I think my tastes are, also, constantly evolving as I enter into new play relationships and try new things, with new people and in new environments.

For the moment, here is what I know about my submissive identity, the kinks I have and how I like to play. Continue reading “My submissive identity (Part 2: My path into submission)”

My most valuable submissive experience (and one of my biggest mistakes)

Jack and I still talk about the first time we tried a BDSM scene together. How badly it went, and what we both learned from it.

It was a turning point in the process of working out what kind of a submissive I really was, and how to communicate that to lovers.

(It kind of follows on from the post I did on becoming a submissive, but is also kind of its own story, so I haven’t called it Part 2- that’s coming real soon!) Continue reading “My most valuable submissive experience (and one of my biggest mistakes)”

A tribute to messed-up porn

I wrote a post a while ago about my belated sexual awakening. I realised that I’ve had the second part of this drafted for ages, but forgotten to publish it. (I’ve got lots of drafts sitting there, awaiting some polish, because I’m shit and disorganised).

Today I found it!

So here you go: what happened to me when I encountered porn… after I got my first vibrator and had my first orgasm. (I’ve realised it also links quite a lot with the stuff I’ve written about my introduction into BDSM.)

The story in a nutshell: I started watching porn, and I quickly slid down a filthy, lubed-up slippery slope. A slope lined with red high heels, bad dialogue, and false nails.

********************** Continue reading “A tribute to messed-up porn”