Here are some vague goals I’m developing around sex, kink and polyamory for 2019. After a pretty intense year in 2018, and what with starting a new full-time job this year, I probably need to expect a bit less of myself in 2019, and just aim for goals that are relatively achievable!
So here’s what my week feels like at the moment, and why I need urgent help on how to be a good polyamorist partner this evening.
I’m starting with the bad, because that’s what’s bubbling up at the moment!
Social anxiety at sex parties is a thing for me.
I’m almost more nervous about the socialising at sex parties, than I am about the potential public sex.
And especially …I’m nervous about how the hell I am supposed to get from the former, to the latter.
Before my first sex party, I was so focused on the expectations I had around sex (discussed in part 1 of this series) that it never even occurred to me that social anxiety would be a problem.
When I walked in the door, it hit me:
This is a whole group of people that I don’t know.
And if I want to actually have sex with some of them, I have to talk to them. Fuuuuuuck. Continue reading “What I’ve learned from going to sex parties Part 2: Look for social connections, not sex”
I mentioned in a previous post that I was interested in looking for a threesome. Specifically, an FFM threesome.
I’ve had a threesome with two men before (a few years ago). It was hella hot! But I’ve never really had an FFM. And, I have always wanted one.
Well, Jack (my anchor partner) has, after giving it some thought, said he’s happy for me to go ahead and make it happen.
And I have been putting myself out there on Feeld, without really having high expectations. I’ve used the app before, and never found anyone particularly worth talking to.
I’ve started talking to a M/F couple, and I really like them!
They’re from a city that isn’t mine, maybe an hour away. They’re both teachers, and they’re actually cool, interesting people (WHAT). Continue reading “Could this be my first FFM threesome?”
I mentioned a guy I had dated, S, in a previous blog post, and then realised that the story of my relationship with S needs a post of its own. It explains why I don’t date people whose partners are not 100% into polyamory.
I called him, in that post, “S: a married guy, whose wife N found the whole poly thing extremely difficult”.
I wanted to explain exactly how she found it difficult, though, and how that impacted on me. The whole episode taught Jack and I a lot about how we want to operate ourselves (and don’t want to operate) as a couple of ethical non-monogamists.
(The story also involves yet another totally awkward sexual experience for me: yay!) Continue reading “Why I don’t date people whose partners are not 100% into polyamory”