Goals for 2019: An MMF threesome, compersion, and more

Here are some vague goals I’m developing around sex, kink and polyamory for 2019. After a pretty intense year in 2018,  and what with starting a new full-time job this year, I probably need to expect a bit less of myself in 2019, and just aim for goals that are relatively achievable!

goalposts in a foggy field
Image from Pixabay

Continue reading “Goals for 2019: An MMF threesome, compersion, and more”

The Good, The Bad, The Weird (or: How do I keep busy when my partner is out on a date?)

So here’s what my week feels like at the moment, and why I need urgent help on how to be a good polyamorist partner this evening.

I’m starting with the bad, because that’s what’s bubbling up at the moment!

  1. The Bad

Continue reading “The Good, The Bad, The Weird (or: How do I keep busy when my partner is out on a date?)”

What I’ve learned from going to sex parties Part 2: Look for social connections, not sex

Social anxiety at sex parties is a thing for me.

I’m almost more nervous about the socialising at sex parties, than I am about the potential public sex.

And especially …I’m nervous about how the hell I am supposed to get from the former, to the latter.

Before my first sex party, I was so focused on the expectations I had around sex (discussed in part 1 of this series) that it never even occurred to me that social anxiety would be a problem.

When I walked in the door, it hit me:

This is a whole group of people that I don’t know.

And if I want to actually have sex with some of them, I have to talk to them. Fuuuuuuck. Continue reading “What I’ve learned from going to sex parties Part 2: Look for social connections, not sex”

Could this be my first FFM threesome?

I mentioned in a previous post that I was interested in looking for a threesome. Specifically, an FFM threesome.

I’ve had a threesome with two men before (a few years ago). It was hella hot! But I’ve never really had an FFM. And, I have always wanted one.

Well, Jack (my anchor partner) has, after giving it some thought, said he’s happy for me to go ahead and make it happen.

And I have been putting myself out there on Feeld, without really having high expectations. I’ve used the app before, and never found anyone particularly worth talking to.

But…

I’ve started talking to a M/F couple, and I really like them!

They’re from a city that isn’t mine, maybe an hour away. They’re both teachers, and they’re actually cool, interesting people (WHAT). Continue reading “Could this be my first FFM threesome?”

Why I don’t date people whose partners are not 100% into polyamory

I mentioned a guy I had dated, S, in a previous blog post, and then realised that the story of my relationship with S needs a post of its own. It explains why I don’t date people whose partners are not 100% into polyamory.

I called him, in that post, “S: a married guy, whose wife N found the whole poly thing extremely difficult”. 

I wanted to explain exactly how she found it difficult, though, and how that impacted on me. The whole episode taught Jack and I a lot about how we want to operate ourselves (and don’t want to operate) as a couple of ethical non-monogamists.

(The story also involves yet another totally awkward sexual experience for me: yay!) Continue reading “Why I don’t date people whose partners are not 100% into polyamory”