Ah, there it is. My kinky side.

January has been a good month with lots to appreciate… except for, there’s been very little sex and no kink! February started with me changing that story. Here’s how that happened.

January saw me going on several beautiful walks in the countryside with good friends; some really lovely dates and evenings in with my partner; a nice session with my other partner at his place.

The first few weeks of my new job feel like they went …OK? I think. I concentrated really hard on taking it slowly and consciously and not allowing myself to run off in all directions or cave to outside pressure to DO STUFF before planning it. I think that paid off, as I now feel pretty calm and in control of what’s quite a difficult programme of work. Continue reading “Ah, there it is. My kinky side.”

There’s a French word that means “natural vaginal lubricant”- let’s steal it

The word is ‘cyprine’. I want to propose that we all use it!

Sure, we’d need to borrow it from French. But if it works for restaurant, critique, and RSVP, then I think we should make it work for cyprine. Continue reading “There’s a French word that means “natural vaginal lubricant”- let’s steal it”

Tips for having conversations at sex parties that make you and other people feel good

Oh no. It’s an advice post!

It says on my about page, that I’m not setting myself up to give advice. Already I’m breaking my own rule.

What happened?!

I attended a sex party on the weekend. A few people made me feel awkward and uncomfortable through what seemed like basic etiquette messups. It’s happened to me so often!

And I thought….why?! Why do people do these things. NGNNGNGNGNGH.

Having conversations at sex parties or sex-positive events, like munches, can be really hard. Difficult to navigate. People find it hard to gauge the tone. I have made mistakes myself, for definite. Continue reading “Tips for having conversations at sex parties that make you and other people feel good”

A major flirting fail… but still got a woman’s number!

I am really, really bad at flirting with women.

I am even worse at actually making anything happen with a woman that I like.

When it comes to flirting with women, at sex parties, on dates, in clubs, anywhere really.  I just … SUCK. (On top of the social anxiety I have at sex parties anyway.)

I get tongue tied. I get completely into my head and second-guess myself the entire time. I have zero confidence. It’s as if I’m a 15 year old, who is scared of her first kiss, and avoids people’s eyes at the school dance.

Even at a sex positive party, as I was at the weekend.

Somewhere where the atmosphere is explicitly accepting of queer people and those all across the gender spectrum (as it was at this particular party). Somewhere where there is zero judgment or stigma, around women hitting on women (or anyone else for that matter). Continue reading “A major flirting fail… but still got a woman’s number!”

Why I don’t date people whose partners are not 100% into polyamory

I mentioned a guy I had dated, S, in a previous blog post, and then realised that the story of my relationship with S needs a post of its own. It explains why I don’t date people whose partners are not 100% into polyamory.

I called him, in that post, “S: a married guy, whose wife N found the whole poly thing extremely difficult”. 

I wanted to explain exactly how she found it difficult, though, and how that impacted on me. The whole episode taught Jack and I a lot about how we want to operate ourselves (and don’t want to operate) as a couple of ethical non-monogamists.

(The story also involves yet another totally awkward sexual experience for me: yay!) Continue reading “Why I don’t date people whose partners are not 100% into polyamory”