Coming out as non-monogamous in the office

I started this new job a few months back and have been trying to keep my whole ‘crazy’ non-monogamous lifestyle under wraps, until I could be sure of the reception I would get with my new colleagues.

Also partly just because I’m a private person and don’t like to be too vocal about these things as soon as I meet people. In the office, I prefer to let my personality (and my work) come first.

My sexuality and relationship preferences are info that I’ll share when I get to know someone, and only if I don’t think it will mean they’ll be hostile, awkward, or I’ll have to spend a million hours explaining and justifying it because who I am somehow offends them. (More on my journey to becoming non-monogamous is here, if you’re interested.) Continue reading “Coming out as non-monogamous in the office”

I seem to be getting turned on by elves now. (Erotic webcomic!)

Someone I’m dating recently sent me a link to an erotic webcomic ‘Alfie’, created by an artist called Incase.

I quickly flipped through the whole thing on my phone, simultaneously becoming more aroused and entertained. Maybe you, like me, never would have believed you could get turned on by an erotic webcomic about elves. Well… maybe this will change your mind. It did mine.

Continue reading “I seem to be getting turned on by elves now. (Erotic webcomic!)”

When the worlds of sex and work collide

I work in an office. A small office. I try to be professional and not let sex and work interfere too much with each other.

Sometimes people I’m dating will text me something filthy at my desk. But generally, I save that stuff for outside office hours. My primary partner’s got a pretty emotionally demanding job, and I work in non-profits. In both contexts, we need to give it our all, and while we’re not workaholics, we do take our work seriously.

This week, though, technical issues at my office meant that I could barely do any work at all. It was intensely boring. I was really scraping the barrel to find stuff to do; filing, writing background documents, that kind of thing.

Of course, it was only a matter of time before things became… less than professional. Continue reading “When the worlds of sex and work collide”

A belated sexual awakening

Most films or books involving a ‘sexual awakening’ seem to focus on teenagers. Dewy eyed and fresh-faced as they enter the world of sex, excited at all that the world has to offer.

My sexual awakening was somewhat delayed. I didn’t wake up for AGES. I was sexually dozing, in fact. This is a story about how I eventually got there.

Going into my late teens, when I began having sexual relationships with men, I thought my options were as follows:

a) find a kind, caring man and have nice sex with him. (This option would qualify me for love.)

b) find a nasty (but sexy) man and do whatever he wanted in bed, whether I liked it or not. (This option would be automatic disqualification from love.)

I chose a.

Well, chose might not be the word; probably ‘stumbled into’ is a better description. Continue reading “A belated sexual awakening”

Building a non-monogamous relationship

There are lots of different journeys that you can take into a non-monogamous relationship, but this is a story about mine.

When I met him, Jack was divorced, and had come on a similar journey as I had been. Like me (see last post), his journey took him away from monogamy and into a sort of exciting but scary and slightly lonely single person free-for-all.

Jack had had bad experiences of monogamy, so he didn’t want to be tied down. He, like me, considered himself kinky and experimental and wasn’t inclined to settle for a relationships on anything less than his terms.

We told each other when we started chatting on an online dating site that we weren’t looking for anything serious. Continue reading “Building a non-monogamous relationship”