writing about sexuality, kink and open relationships
‘Ethical non-monogamy’ blogs discuss polyamorous relationships. They also cover open relationships generally that could better be described as ‘ethically non-monogamous’. This includes my own anchor relationship. Our labels are still evolving; we are still working out whether we are practicing ethical non-monogamy or polyamory. Our goal eventually is to be practising polyamory, having emotional and romantic relationships with multiple people, as well as sexual and play relationships. In practice we are still working our way towards true polyamory. This blog will document that journey.
Here are some vague goals I’m developing around sex, kink and polyamory for 2019. After a pretty intense year in 2018, and what with starting a new full-time job this year, I probably need to expect a bit less of myself in 2019, and just aim for goals that are relatively achievable!
Continue reading “Goals for 2019: An MMF threesome, compersion, and more”
So here’s what my week feels like at the moment, and why I need urgent help on how to be a good polyamorist partner this evening.
I’m starting with the bad, because that’s what’s bubbling up at the moment!
I’m almost more nervous about the socialising at sex parties, than I am about the potential public sex.
And especially …I’m nervous about how the hell I am supposed to get from the former, to the latter.
Before my first sex party, I was so focused on the expectations I had around sex (discussed in part 1 of this series) that it never even occurred to me that social anxiety would be a problem.
When I walked in the door, it hit me:
This is a whole group of people that I don’t know.
And if I want to actually have sex with some of them, I have to talk to them. Fuuuuuuck. Continue reading “What I’ve learned from going to sex parties Part 2: Look for social connections, not sex”
I mentioned a guy I had dated, S, in a previous blog post, and then realised that the story of my relationship with S needs a post of its own. It explains why I don’t date people whose partners are not 100% into polyamory.
I called him, in that post, “S: a married guy, whose wife N found the whole poly thing extremely difficult”.
I wanted to explain exactly how she found it difficult, though, and how that impacted on me. The whole episode taught Jack and I a lot about how we want to operate ourselves (and don’t want to operate) as a couple of ethical non-monogamists.
(The story also involves yet another totally awkward sexual experience for me: yay!) Continue reading “Why I don’t date people whose partners are not 100% into polyamory”
Today, I want to talk about the ‘polyamory challenge’ of introducing two partners to each other, and discuss my concerns about what could go wrong!
This week, I will introduce my first ‘other partner’, G, to my anchor partner, Jack. I’m quite nervous, but also excited.
The person I’m introducing, G, is a lovely, sweet man who I met on OKCupid, after I had nearly given up on poly dating.
A bit of background… about why this introduction going well, is so important to me. Continue reading “Polyamory challenge: Introducing two partners to each other”