Goals for 2019: An MMF threesome, compersion, and more

Here are some vague goals I’m developing around sex, kink and polyamory for 2019. After a pretty intense year in 2018,  and what with starting a new full-time job this year, I probably need to expect a bit less of myself in 2019, and just aim for goals that are relatively achievable!

goalposts in a foggy field
Image from Pixabay

Continue reading “Goals for 2019: An MMF threesome, compersion, and more”

The Good, The Bad, The Weird (or: How do I keep busy when my partner is out on a date?)

So here’s what my week feels like at the moment, and why I need urgent help on how to be a good polyamorist partner this evening.

I’m starting with the bad, because that’s what’s bubbling up at the moment!

  1. The Bad

Continue reading “The Good, The Bad, The Weird (or: How do I keep busy when my partner is out on a date?)”

What I’ve learned from going to sex parties Part 2: Look for social connections, not sex

Social anxiety at sex parties is a thing for me.

I’m almost more nervous about the socialising at sex parties, than I am about the potential public sex.

And especially …I’m nervous about how the hell I am supposed to get from the former, to the latter.

Before my first sex party, I was so focused on the expectations I had around sex (discussed in part 1 of this series) that it never even occurred to me that social anxiety would be a problem.

When I walked in the door, it hit me:

This is a whole group of people that I don’t know.

And if I want to actually have sex with some of them, I have to talk to them. Fuuuuuuck. Continue reading “What I’ve learned from going to sex parties Part 2: Look for social connections, not sex”

Why I don’t date people whose partners are not 100% into polyamory

I mentioned a guy I had dated, S, in a previous blog post, and then realised that the story of my relationship with S needs a post of its own. It explains why I don’t date people whose partners are not 100% into polyamory.

I called him, in that post, “S: a married guy, whose wife N found the whole poly thing extremely difficult”. 

I wanted to explain exactly how she found it difficult, though, and how that impacted on me. The whole episode taught Jack and I a lot about how we want to operate ourselves (and don’t want to operate) as a couple of ethical non-monogamists.

(The story also involves yet another totally awkward sexual experience for me: yay!) Continue reading “Why I don’t date people whose partners are not 100% into polyamory”

Polyamory challenge: Introducing two partners to each other

Today, I want to talk about the ‘polyamory challenge’ of introducing two partners to each other, and discuss my concerns about what could go wrong!

This week, I will introduce my first ‘other partner’, G, to my anchor partner, Jack. I’m quite nervous, but also excited.

The person I’m introducing, G, is a lovely, sweet man who I met on OKCupid, after I had nearly given up on poly dating.

A bit of background… about why this introduction going well, is so important to me. Continue reading “Polyamory challenge: Introducing two partners to each other”