About

I’m a thirty-something woman with a professional career.

I also love sex, and reading and learning about sexuality, spirituality, kink/BDSM, eroticism and things most people consider ‘dirty’.

I am consciously building an ethical non-monogamous relationship, learning as I go with the love of my life. We live together and explore the sex+ and kink worlds together-around our jobs, family commitments and, y’know, lives. We’re not ‘out’ to a lot of people in our lives, though one day we hope to be. It’s a process.

I am training in counselling and sex therapies; volunteer at a women’s centre, and run a women’s group, where I get a good insight into how women feel about sex, relationships and their bodies. I also love to write. This blog is a way of me pulling this all together and hopefully sharing what I learn with others.

Here’s what I’m not.

I’m not any kind of expert, or setting myself up to give advice. (See my reading page for resources from people who fit the expert mould better than me!) For someone in my thirties, I think I know surprisingly little about love, sex and life. The more I know, the more I realise I don’t know.

That said, I’ve learned a lot, especially in the past few years. Not only have I had a lot of great sex in my life, I’ve also fucked up a lot, had a bunch of therapy and learned from my mistakes.

My intention is primarily to process and develop my own sexuality on this blog- because I enjoy writing about sex, and I learn through reflecting.

A secondary reason for the blog is to communicate with other people like me, especially women for whom all of this rings true; who want to be more sexually fulfilled. I hope you find my blog helpful and maybe it sparks some ideas.

And a third reason is to share with anyone who is hiding, who is afraid that what they want isn’t normal, or isn’t okay. By writing honestly, talking about what I like, what I find erotic and my experiences with sex and kink, I hope to inspire others to explore, try new things, be a bit more curious and honest with themselves.